What is alcoholism?
We often refer to it as a threefold family disease affecting the body, the mind and the spirit. For the drinker, one of the symptoms is an uncontrollable desire for alcohol.
How can I help an alcoholic?
We believe that an alcoholic must reach out for help in order to recover. By adopting the Al-Anon/Alateen program we can stop trying to change the alcoholic. We learn we cannot change anyone. We do this by turning our attention to ourselves, the only ones we can change.
What can I do to help an alcoholic stop drinking?
By changing our own attitudes we provide a healthier environment for our families or circle of friends, including the alcoholic. This may allow the alcoholic to see the problem more clearly and pave the way to recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
How can I change my attitude?
Should I serve alcohol at home or around the alcoholic?
This is an individual or family matter. It depends on the alcoholic's preferences. For some, it may seem advisable not to at the beginning of recovery.
Should I accept invitations for us to attend gatherings where alcohol is served?
Let the alcoholic decide whether or not to accept such invitations. In Al-Anon we learn how to make good decisions for ourselves only.
Should I stop drinking?
If it makes any difference to the alcoholic it might be advisable, but this is your personal decision. Some of us learn to enjoy life without drinking and some of us drink socially without negative consequences.
Is there a good time when I can talk to the alcoholic about the drinking or the other serious problems that often go with it?
In most cases, this must be "played by ear." Many have found the alcoholic to be more approachable after a heavy drinking bout. Try to be calm and detached whenever such problems are discussed.
Should I treat the alcoholic in any special way?
No. Experience has shown that the more attention paid to the alcoholic behavior, the less the alcoholic takes responsibility for it. Allowing them to be responsible for their own behavior is difficult.
Will my troubles be over when the alcoholic stops drinking?
Don't expect too much too soon. Recovery takes a long time, and not all problems, family or work related, are caused by alcoholism. Abstinence from drinking often unmasks other problems which require different responses.
Will I still need Al-Anon after the alcoholic has stopped drinking?
Yes. The adjustment to sobriety can be aided by our continuing to focus on ourselves and growing in Al-Anon. Many members continue long after the drinking has stopped.
Am I sick, too?
It is good to remember that we are suffering from the effects of another person's alcoholism, whether in our present life or somewhere in our past.
What new or old responsibilities can an alcoholic take?
Few, unless the alcoholic has sought sobriety. Some alcoholics can assume responsibilities more quickly than others; the abilities of an alcoholic who has achieved sobriety may be limitless for some, while others truly take life one day at a time.
How can I help after the alcoholic stops drinking?
Loving and understanding helps. Recovering from the effects of alcoholism, the family disease, ourselves, often aids in ongoing recovery of others.
What is a "dry drunk"?
When alcoholics, who have not been drinking, get into a state of mind or display behavior previously associated with drinking, they are said to be having a "dry drunk." It often occurs in early sobriety but is not unusual later in long-term sobriety either.
Do I, in Al-Anon have "slips"?
Yes, old reactions are hard to break, and sometimes we unwittingly slip back into old ways of thinking and acting. Keeping in touch with Al-Anon members by means of the telephone, reading Al-Anon literature, and attending meetings helps minimize this behavior.
How can I keep the alcoholic away from drinking companions?